Future Pathways
by packman23
Summary: My Brothers work. Tommy and Tammy Turner's lives as they attempt to hide their god parents from one another unaware that the other one has fairies.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: If I where Butch Hartman, I would own Fairly odd parents, and its characters, and a nicer house, but I'm not him, so I don't own anything._

_Note: Yes I know most of you know who Tammy and Tommy are, but I put in a description for those of you who don't_

**Chapter One:**

"TOMMY! TAMMY! WOULD YOU COME HERE FOR A MOMENT" the thirty year old Timmy Turner called from the hallway.

The sound of footsteps could be heard as Tommy, a raven haired kid with buck teeth and a weird crown shaped pink hat, and Tammy, a girl in a pink plaid skirt and glasses, rushed down the stairs to see what their dad found so important.

"Now kids," Timmy smiled, "It's the Elementary Parents Teacher Night tonight and at least one parent in every family has to attend. Since your mom is in Barcelona at for the week..."

Tammy stopped listening, she looked at her brother, who was also beginning to look worried. Tammy was good at maths, but it didn't take a genius to work out that Tammy+Tommy-Mom and Dad=

"Vicky Bot!!!" The twins shouted in unison as their father opened door to reveal a manically laughing robot that it was probably not safe to leave children with, nevertheless, Timmy did.

He smiled to himself as he got into his car, those kids must love him, they never wanted him to leave home.

-*-

The halls of Dimmsdale Elementary were a hubbub of chatter and muttering as Timmy entered. The teacher, who had until then been sitting moodily in a corner, grinned at the sight of the father and beckoned him over.

"Ah, you must be Mr Bitterroot." Timmy Turner said as he sat down at the table. It was almost impossible to recognize him as the miserable pink hatted 10 year old boy he had once been, everything about him reeked of confidence, and he smiled at the man who sat across the table from him. Mr Bitterroot had grey unhealthy skin, bad eyesight and an ear on his neck. His hair was combed back and he wore a tweed jacket, but neither of these really did much for his appearance. He reminded Timmy strongly of someone he used to know.

"Mr Turner," the teacher began, "you are no doubt aware that through the course of the year I have been assessing and grading your two children," he looked down at the names he had written on his hand before continuing "Tommy and Tammy using a series of random university grade pop quizzes created by my uncle. You will be glad to know that their combined average grade is an F." He grinned widely at this word.

"And what's so good about an F?" Timmy ground his teeth, he knew his children could do better than that, he had to start punishing things like this.

"Yes, but that's not why I wanted to see you Mr Turner. For you see, there have been a disturbing amount of _incidents _concerning your children..."

_Okay, nothing actually happened in this chapter, but that's just the way I likes it. All will be revealed in the next chapter. How will Tommy and Tammy cope with Vicky Bot? Who is Mr Bitterroot? How do Cosmo and Wanda fit into all this? Will I ever stop talking? One of these questions will be answered in the next chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned Fairly Odd parents I wouldn't be writing fanscripts.

Note: In this fic, fairies age much slower than humans. So, although poof is not still circular, he is still in diapers and can't talk much.

**Chapter Two:**

Tammy groaned as she slammed the door to her room and stomped towards her bed. _By now that creep Bitterroot would be telling her Dad all sorts of stuff about her and Tommy to try and prove his stupid idea about them having, or possibly being, a leprechaun. _Tammy grabbed a pillow, gave another annoyed grunt and threw herself onto the bed.

"Everything OK kid?"

The voice had come from the pillow itself and Tammy looked down to see a pair of emerald green eyes staring up at her. There was a POOF and the pillow disappeared, to be replaced by a green haired fairy with a goofy expression on his face.

"Hey Cosmo," Tammy whispered dejectedly, for fear of Tommy hearing her from the next room.

"Sooo Taaammmyyy," Cosmo drawled slowly, "What's the matter? Huh? Huh? Huh?" he began to bounce of the walls, shouting exuberantly, Tammy began to laugh, before remembering the situation she was in and stopping abruptly.

"Well if you must know," she said matter-o-factly, "My parents don't have time for me, Rick Parks, the boy I like, doesn't know I exist, my teachers psychotic and I'm at the mercy of a ruthless robot who has sent me to bed, AT SIX THIRTY!"

Cosmo flew down to her and looked her in the eye.

"Aw don't worry Tammy. At least you'll always have me."

"I guess your right Cosmo," Tammy muttered "I have a fairy godparent, but Tommy doesn't have anyone to help him."

-*-

Tommy hadn't even bothered to shut the door. He had slouched over to the wall and began to bang his head against it.

"Not again," the nearby fish groaned, lifted a wand and turned the wall into rubber. Tommy bounced of it and floated into bed. The two fish jumped out of the fishbowl and transformed into small humanoids with wings and floaty crowny things.

Wanda frowned, _why did all her god kids seem to want to maim themselves with a wall when things weren't going there way?_

"Vicky bot?" she asked as the young purple haired fairy next to her yawned and sat back in the fish bowl, unaware of the fact he was not still a fish.

Tommy smiled, even when you were being tortured by a robot, it was hard not to find his baby godbrother cute. He eventually allowed Wanda to poof him up some milk and cookies and to be tucked into a double inescapable military style bed tuck. _This job would be so much easier if Cosmo were here, _Wanda thought, _if only that jerk Jorgen hadn't enforced that one-godparent-per-child-no-exception-EVER rule. _

She scooped up Poof and headed towards the fishbowl, hoping that Cosmo would have had a better day.

-*-

Cosmo finally made it home to their castle at eleven, tired and disheveled.

"So much for those Big-shots in Fairy World giving the less capable one of us to the more capable child," Cosmo groaned, "Tammy wished her bedroom into a prehistoric jungle! I've been fending of lions for the past hour, even my scars are scarred!"

Wanda sat down and began to open that days mail. A particularly important looking envelope floated out of the mountainous pile of spam and announced itself with a blare of trumpets.

Even as Wanda reached for it she knew what it was going to say:

"CONGRATULATIONS OVERWORKED FAIRY," a voice boomed as a white top hat floated from the letter, "IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR, IT'S THE DOUBLE FAIRYVERSARY OF YOUR ONE HUNDRETH," the fairy that now stood there was tanned, with a curled moustache, dark blue hair and a white suit, complete with gloves and a top hat, he paused "godchild" he finished, taking in there exasperated faces.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Still don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Maybe someday..._

_Note: Hassian is a fan character. If you steal him, I will find you._

**Chapter Three:**

Everyone in Fairy World knew who the man standing infront of Cosmo and Wanda was. Hassian Vertigo Orion was one of the most famous figures in Fairy World Society. One of the creators of the Fairy World Godparent program with 7'062 successful Godchildren and 1 failure. He was the sort of Fairy who never said anything quietly, preferring to shout it out as loud his he could fror fear of there being some chance that it could be missed.

"That's right Fairyfolk, you're gonna' be celebrating this very special day tomorrow, so you've got lots and lots of work to do!" he bellowed.

"FAIRYVERSARY?" Wanda shrieked, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to look after a Fairy child and two human children who are not allowed to know about each other in the same house? And now you want to give us more work?"

"Hey I don't write the rules," Hassian paused "Well, actually I do, but I have enough power to put you both out of a job, so I'd do what I say, or start packing your bags."

Hassian smiled at them both, tipped his hat and disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Cosmo and Wanda standing there, with looks of apprehension on their faces.

-*-

Timmy opened the front door at eleven twenty at night, collapsing on the welcome mat and dragging himself along towards the stairs, he couldn't believe that a Parent Teacher night and six consecutive meetings could ever take so long. He suddenly found his way blocked by a menacing figure holding an axe high above it's head and spurting flame from the gaping hole which was it's mouth. He screamed, before recognizing the robot and regaining composure.

"Vicky Bot? What do you think your doing?" he gasped.

"Errr, I was just trying to start your," the robot paused "log fire?" it finished, it's excuse drive whirring into action.

"We don't have a log fire." Timmy said, unconvinced.

"Ummm, I was building one." it said replacing it's axe with a hammer. Timmy was still unsure of what to make of this, but he was tired and didn't have time to worry about this, so he payed the robot, let it out before it's weapons damaged anything and slouched upstairs to check that his children were okay. Tammy's room was filthy, much to the dislike of Timmy, the bed was a mess, like the whole thing had been made by an idiot and a dusty bone had been shoved under a large ugly green pillow that Timmy did not remember buying. He reminded himself to fit heavy duty locks on the windows when he had time. Tommy's room, however, was the polar opposite, but none the less surprising. It was impeccably neat and Tommy had been tucked under the quilt with bone crushing tightness. Timmy attempted to loosen it, as his son appeared to be turning blue, but it seemed to be held there with super glue. If he had been more awake, he may have found something odd about this, it was unlike his children to be so messy or neat respectively, he supposed it was because neither him nor Mrs Turner had had much time for the twins recently. He stumbled into his room and was mildly surprised that his room was filled with sparkling dust and that two winged creatures were flapping around with streamers, banners and balloons clutched in there hands, before a something hit him in the back of his head and he fell unconscious onto his bed.

-*-

"A pot? Is that the best you could come up with" Wanda glared at Cosmo , who was about to reply, before noticing the frazzled look in her eye, and thinking better of it. She looked down at Timmy Turner, who was deep in a pot induced sleep. Suddenly she was glad that she had used super glue while tucking Tommy in, as for Tammy, she hoped she was a light sleeper.

"Cosmo! What do you think your doing." Wanda snapped, rushing over to snatch Poof away from him, as Cosmo had mistaken him for a balloon (an understandable mistake as many of the balloons were of a similar shape) and had been attempting to tie him to the bedpost.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight." she said as she carried the giggling child out of the room and down the stairs, to get some air. She crossed the welcome mat and towards the door, not noticing as the sparkling envelope fell from her pocket.

"Mama!" Poof squealed, pointing at the aforesaid envelope excitedly.

"Yes dear?" the fairy groaned.

"Letter! Letter! Timmy!" Poof cried, frantically trying to climb over his mothers shoulder towards the welcome mat.

"Yes dear," Wanda smiled wryly, " those are Timmy's letters."

Poof face palmed as Wanda carried him out the door and took a deep breath of air.

She didn't notice the small girl watching her from her bedroom window, nor did she notice the mailman come half an hour later, which was odd as mailmen did not normally arrive at midnight, and did not normally take letters from porches before disappearing into the night. But then again, many things were overlooked that night, there was something odd about that night, the moon was full, and the air was buzzing with magic.

_So that's the chapter. And finally we have a plot. Who knows what the next chapter will bring (well except me of course). Who is the mailman? Why didn't anyone notice him? Have any of you guessed the plot yet? Please review._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I didn't own it, nobody saw me own it, Butch Hartman owns everything.

Note: Okay, now I have all my antagonists on the board, it's time for some P-L-O-T.

**Chapter Four:**

Tommy, who was always a rather heavy sleeper, awoke to find his room filled with noise, balloons and, oddly, fairies. He rubbed his eyes, convinced that this must be a dream.

"Wanda! Wanda! Come and look at this!" he shouted, Wanda and Poof both appeared in the room, dressed in matching "We Luv Tommy Turner" shirts , with matching hats and badges and little miniature flags.

"Happy Fairyversary sport." Wanda shouted.

"YAY! Faiwyersawy!" Poof echoed.

"Faiwy-what-sawy?" Tommy questioned.

"Fairyversary!" Jorgen Von Strangle replied, as he burst through the wall and into Tommy's room, causing him to scream. "A Fairyversary is a special time when a god child celebrates one year of having godparents. At this time a large party is thrown by the fairies in honour of the child and there is food and presents and games and lots of other fun things." he said with disdain "You will also receive a magical muffin, which will grant you one rule free wish per bite. Except for a better tasting muffin."

Tommy smiled and his face lit up as Jorgen finished speaking.

"But be warned Mr Turner, these wishes almost always backfire and cause mass panic. The best type of panic HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHA!!!" he paused "this years muffin colour is blue, enjoy your day." He grinned, taking in Tommy's shocked face, before disappearing in an atomic explosion, leaving behind a small hole in the floor.

"That Jorgen's a real jerk." Wanda muttered.

"Right," Tommy said before taking a tiny nibble from the corner of the muffin. "Now, what to wish for, what to wish for? Oh, I wish I knew what to wish for."

The muffin sparkled with magic, and hit Tommy straight in the face with a pure bolt of magic.

"What that wasn't a wish!" he whined, taking another nibble with his two buck teeth and swallowing some more magic cake "I wish my dad was at his meeting and that the walls were soundproof so that my sister couldn't hear this party!" He cried, with a magical burst of inspiration.

Wanda smiled as the presents began to flock in, maybe this party wasn't as bad an idea as she'd thought.

-*-

Tammy woke up while it was still dark, having been plagued by nightmares about weird Pink haired fairies and dinosaurs. For a moment she just lay there, wondering what her dad would have said if he could see her room, dirty and heavy with grime. She had just noticed that the room was in fact immaculate and there were balloons and banners everywhere, when the whole room exploded in an inferno of light and sound that forced her eyes shut.

"HAPPY FAIRYVERSARY!"

When she opened them again she was surrounded by fairies, each of them holding stacks of presents and cheering excitedly. It was like something out of some crazy dream, except she wasn't asleep and she hadn't taken Cosmo up on his offer of turning the room into delicious cheese. The way she saw it, she was going to be in enough trouble as it was.

She was unsurprised when both Cosmo and Jorgen floated out of the crowd and flew down to greet her. What she had not expected, however, was for Jorgen to be smiling and laughing at something he clearly found funny.

After a brief explanation about Fairyversaries, horrible tasting red cupcakes and rule free wishes which were bound to have horrible consequences, the party was under way, and Tammy began to receive her presents. Magical grenades from Jorgen ("the best kind of dangerous, highly."), an unbreakable, diamond floss tiara from the tooth fairy ("stylish and healthy."), one cent from Shamus O'Flannigan the leprechaun ("really broke the bank that.") and the list went on.

Tammy finally escaped everyone's attention for long enough to find Cosmo, who was hurriedly talking to a fairy in a white suit and top hat.

"Cosmo," she said, pulling him away from the other fairy, "can I ask you something?"

"Yes." Cosmo replied, nervously looking round at the man in white, who, for some reason, seemed to be checking something that looked like a small barometer.

"Were there any more fairies in the house last night, to help you prepare for this?"

"N-n-no" Cosmo stuttered, beginning to sweat.

"Really? I thought I saw one last night. A woman, with swirly pink hair. Do you know her?"

"Yes... I mean... no... I mean....err...err... Look everyone. Cheese!" Cosmo babbled, poofing a giant slab of cheddar into the room and causing it to explode.

Tammy groaned, she knew he hadn't been telling the truth. But why? What didn't he want her to know?

-*-

The man watched both children through the window from a nearby tree. He was dressed in a tattered cold blue grey postal uniform, the kind with a tie and peaked cap. His face was featureless except for his eyes which that shone like car headlights and a slit mouth, which was odd, because postmen do not normally hang from trees while spying on people, especially not when the whole house is buzzing with anti-spy magic. The mailman did not care for such things and simply looked right through it, amazed that anyone could think such a trivial piece of magic could stop him.

"Finally," he muttered, as he spotted the twin muffins "all the pieces will soon come together, and when they do, none shall stand against my all powerful... power." He threw back his head and laughed manically, until losing his footing and plummeting of the branch with a crash.

_Ooooooo spooooky. Who would ever have thought that postmen could be so evil._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly odd parents, Butch Hartman does. What? You expected a joke? This is an important disclaimer you know.

**Chapter Five:**

Tammy stood in the rapidly emptying bedroom, surrounded by presents and balloons and still clutching at the weird red muffin tightly in her hands. Unlike Tommy, she had refused to begin wishing during the distracting humidity of the party, preferring to have time to think about what she wanted. She didn't want to wish for something she'd regret or wish for something that she'd become easily bored of. She looked around, the last few fairies were saying their goodbyes before poofing out. Two fairies, however, remained behind, one was Cosmo(obviously), but the other was the fairy in the white suite, who floated up to her, grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously.

"Greetings Ms Turner. My name is Hassian Orion, visionary behind the godparent program and your godfathers superior."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Tammy said, some what taken aback by the fairy, who was still shaking her hand.

"I have to compliment you on your party," he smiled "I never would have expected a human and a fairy to be able to arrange such a festival on their own." He finally let go of Tammy's hand.

"Um, Thank you." she muttered.

"But as you can probably guess, that is not why I wanted to talk to you." Tammy had guessed as much. "You have probably discovered that smaller bites give more wishes, but that each is less powerful. But I urge you not to make pointless wishes, and only to use it for important wishes you could not otherwise make. It may also be a good idea to keep a piece of the muffin around, for important decisions, or as a gift to a friend."

"Why you telling me all this?" Tammy asked sceptically.

"Isn't it obvious, today is not just your Fairyversary, it is your godparent, Cosmo's, one hundredth Fairyversary, meaning that, fortunately for you, I have to give you these hints on how to use the muffin and I am also required to give Cosmo a present." He rummaged around in his hat and retrieved a large envelope filled with what looked like marbles, "Sapphfairies," he smiled pointing at a small creature trapped inside, "each one allows the fairy an added bonus to it's wishing ability, but only for wishes that benefit itself." He grinned so widely that Tammy feared his face would burst in two, "backwards, isn't it?"

Tammy stared at the envelope with a look of confusion and horror, thinking what damage her godparent could do with that particular gift. Hassian grinned and poofed from the room, leaving Cosmo, eyes filled with wonder as he began to wish for all the pointlessly trivial things his heart desired, and Tammy, still standing there bewildered, but suddenly sure of what she wanted to wish for. Wishing for true love was against the rules, but that didn't stop the muffin. She knew it was a stupid wish, that it could only lead to trouble, but hey, that's why she had been given a muffin.

She turned to Cosmo, "I wish the boy I liked, Rick Parks, was in love with me!" She declared, as, while having a phone conversation with his friends, the tall, blond and dashingly handsome (by 10 year old standards anyway) Rick Parks, suddenly decided that he was madly in love with...

"Some girl I don't know?" he said, before agreeing that she must be someone important, and dumping the other thirteen stalkers he had agreed to go out with on a pity date.

-*-

It had taken Wendell Bitterroot 12 years of searching to track down his father, and now he finally sat face to face with him in California's most secure mental institute, it would have taken a panel of experts years to work out who was more surprised. Bitterroot had had a less than happy childhood, born to a father so difficult that his mother had moved to Ireland before he had been born just to get away from the man, it was here that Wendell had developed his unhealthy fascination with leprechauns and had, as soon as he hit eighteen, had been forced out of the house by his horrible step dad, Martin. Homeless, lonely, and suffering from a rather nasty case of Irish flu, he tried to find his father, a difficult prospect when you only had a name to go by, and had eventually come to America. He now sat infront of a man in a strait jacket, identical to him in almost every aspect, right the way down to the name. Not that stupid, Wendell Bitterroot malarkey, for that was merely an assumed name, he had found it impossible to require a job with his true name, Denzel Crocker Junior. He finally opened his mouth to speak:

"Father! I can't believe I finally found you! This is the happiest day of my life!!!" The other man simply glared back.

"Good for you."

_If you didn't see that one coming, then you should probably see an optician. If you've gone blind, try going to one instead. ("The jokes get worse" __Crocker__)_

_Next chapter we'll see what Tommy's doing with his muffin and Sapphfairies, and what has become of the Vickybot? All shall be revealed soon._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: No one even reads these. I do not own Butch Hartman, Fairly Odd Parents does, wait, that's not right.

Note: I'm not particularly pleased with this chapter, as I think it seems slightly rushed (especially the Crocker part), but it's neccassary to get to the final part of the story.

**Chapter Six:**

Rick Parks had wasted no time in getting over to the Turner house (he lived just across the street) and declaring his undying love to Tammy. She had grinned like a mental patient when she had taken hold of the arm of her hypnotized longtime crush, who still had absolutely no idea who she was, and led him away from the house for fear that Tommy (who thought that Rick was a poser) would see them through his bedroom window. They had decided to take a walk in the park, as she had heard once that that was the kind of thing that boyfriend/ girlfriends did on a first date. A green dog followed close at their heels, yapping excitedly from time to time and attempting to steal food from strangers, much to Tammy's chagrin. As they walked something caught Tammy's eye, a van behind a nearby tree, it had stopped but it's motor was still running and several odd looking satellite dishes, including one in the shape of a giant butterfly net. The vehicle was jet black and had a slogan written on the side:

**CROCKER & SONS COMPLETELY SANE FAIRY REMOVAL BUISINESS  
13 FAIRY ROAD**

**IF YOU THINK THIS IS SUSPICIOUS  
YOUR A FAIRY!!!**

Tammy rolled her eyes, what kind of whacko thoughtthat up, it sounded just like the sort of thing her Leprechaun obsessed teacher would do if he was given a large enough salary.

"Hey Tammy. psst Tammy!" a voice came from by her heels. She looked down and noticed her "pet dog" was looking up at her, a fearful expression on her face.

"What Cosmo!" she sighed, angry that she was missing valuable starring-at-Rick time.

"I know that van, it belongs to..." but, before he could finish, the giant net swooped down and scooped them all up, spraying them with enough "Mama Crockers nighty-night bedtime spray" to knock out a coffee mad elephant, before folding into the roof and driving away, leaving no more than tire tracks, and several shocked witnesses who had just seen two young children kidnapped and tranquilized by possible madmen.

The afore mentioned madmen were having an incredibly successful day. Inside the van the father and son high-fived, before the younger of the two hurried to the new arrivals and begun to gag, bind and unnecessarily sedate them before placing them next to a group of similarly bound others who the Crockers had just felt like kidnapping. Denzel senior smiled at his new accomplice.

"So Junior," Crocker senior said in his best fatherly voice "how do you like your first Father Son outing"

Junior grinned manically back at his father "Better than anything mom ever took me on," he laughed "We've got 17 people and an oddly coloured green dog in here." His grin was now so wide that his father became worried that the young mans head would shatter and topple from his shoulders. _That would be so fun to watch!_

"Yes. I think we've got everyone who ever slept through one of my lessons in here, ah the sweet smell of revenge." He grinned and sniffed the air, which actually reeked of Shrimp Puffs, "On top of that, thanks to your excellent smuggling of the Fairy-blaster 9000 into that asylum, I don't think we'll be going back there for a while. Which brings up the rather intriguing question of where to stay. Nothing to grand, just somewhere equiped with a computer, satellite dish, fairy tracking technology and an underground, concrete reinforced fairy proof facility."

"How about your secret base."

"Ah yes my top secret-base-ment," the older Crocker thought "thats near here. Of course there are people living there now..."

"GREAT! More hostages!" he shouted putting the van into gear and sped of at, breaking the thirty mile an hour speed limit so thoroughly that the van was simply a blur to the more law abiding citizens of Dimmsdale.

-*-

Upon leaving the house, Cosmo had neglected to pick up his Sapphfairies and had instead left them in there envelope on Tammy's bed. A dark shadow fell across them as The Mailman stepped through the window, something which most mailmen do not do often. He crossed the room in one step and ripped the envelope of the bed, grinning as his luminous eyes inspected the tiny tanned fairy with the ponytail and goatee that sat inside. A tiny representation,of Juandissimo Magniffico. He grinned, crushing the glass globe in his hand, and holding the minuscule thing high above his head, a long black tongue lolling out of the gash that was his mouth.

"No!" a tiny voice screamed "I am far too sexy to be eaten alive by an evil Mailman." The mailman just laughed, and dropped him into his mouth. A single rip on his costume sewed itself back together, and a small hole began to form in the middle of his face, roughly where his nose should be. A nostril. He turned round, facing the chest of drawers in which he knew the red magic muffin had been hidden, stepping passed the unconscious Leprechaun that he had found attempting to steal back his present. Opened the second draw, and sneered as he lifted the half eaten muffin above his head.

"Finally." he whispered.

-*-

Wanda stared blankly at the white suited fairy infront of her.

"Sapphfairies?" she screeched "Those are some of the most dangerous magical items in Fairy world. Sure, if you set the nano-fairy inside free you get a magic boost, but if the nano-fairies destroyed the real Fairy is greatly weakened. What would happen if Poof swallowed one? Do you even care about the safety of others?"

"Mrs Cosma, I am perfectly aware of the dangers of Sapphfairies, and that's why I've made sure that they can only be destroyed or used by a magical creature, believe me, you'll be fine."

Tommy watched Poof as he waddled along the bed, without a care in the world, he was oblivious to his mother fighting with the fairy world official, and to the impending muffled Irish curses coming from Tammy's room (though Wanda was making to much noise for them to be heard) and even to the fact that he was about to walk off the bed, which he did, falling to the ground and proceeding to ricochet around the room. Tommy, who was just about to wish for something unbelievably stupid, was knocked over by the tiny large headed fairy, the muffin flying out of his hands. He watched in horror as part of the muffin broke off, flew through the air and landed in his god brother's open mouth. Poof chewed swallowed and giggled, fairy dust sparkling all around him. Wanda and Hassian stopped their babbling and looked around in horror as the sun was blocked out by a giant silver object. Tommy rushed to the window and watched as several dark shapes hovered down from the craft.

Tommy gasped, as the things flew closer, beeping hurriedly to each other as pink eyes shone through the newly created darkness.

Tommy screamed, running up to Poof, grabbing him off the floor and shaking him. "Why? Why would you wish for that?" Tommy shrieked, as Poof began to cry.

Suddenly the wall was ripped open, leaving a gaping hole through which could be seen five Vickybots.

"Halt Twerp!" One of the robots beeped, "Prepare to be destroyed."

_Ok, so Tammy's been kidnapped by the Crocker's, Poof wished that Vicky was ruler of Earth (backed by a Robot army) and The Mailman has Cosmo's Sapphfairies. What else could go wrong? Well, I'm not gonna tell you, read the next chapter._


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents, or a car. Just thought you'd like to know that.

Note: Good question OddAuthor there is a reason that Poof wished for that. Why? Wait and see...

**Chapter Seven:**

Tammy awoke with a start to find herself chained uncompromisingly to a damp wall in an almost pitch black cellar with very little room to move. As her eyes became accustomed to the light she began to notice that she was not alone, a small crowned dog was chained up to her right, and on her left she could see the outline of Rick. _Wow_, she thought, _Even his outline was handsome_. She shuddered and gave a scream as something wet and slimy fell onto her shoulder and oozed down her shirt sleeve before dripping off of her hand and onto her hand.

"Well," she smiled wryly, trying to make light of the situation, "this isn't how I expected my first date to go."

"Yeah!" she heard Cosmo's voice " as date's go, yours is pretty la-hay-me (lame). I mean you should of seen my first date with Wan..." he stopped himself, "err... the my wife, the Tooth Fairy. It was great, I bought her so many roses, shame they didn't have any petals, but still, I..."

Tammy hung there, silent and open mouthed, she couldn't believe it. Cosmo, still in dog form, had just spoken to her, in a room full of people. There was a brief silence, and suddenly the confined cellar was filled with noise. If Tammy had expected Jorgen to appear in a large flash of light and take Cosmo away forever, she was in for a shock, everyone in the room could see just as little as she could and, instead of freaking out, just assumed that it was another of the captives speaking. Tammy groaned as the room overflowed with anecdotes about first dates, and sympathetic muttering. Tammy groaned and would have buried her face in her hands, if not for the rather uncomfortable manacles around her wrists and ankles.

The chatter lasted for five long minutes, during which neither Tammy nor Rick said a word. One of the captives (a woman of about 20 ish) had somehow managed to get on to the subject of her extremely annoying ex-boyfriend when the whole room was filled with light. The occupants of the cellar screwed up their eyes to block out the blinding rays, as two hunched figures slouched down the steps, grinning from ear to ear (a difficult thing to achieve when your ear is on your neck and you have no chin). The older Crocker spoke first, noticing the green dog that was chained infront of them.

"An oddly coloured dog," he mused, addressing himself as much ad himself, "now, many people would assume that this is a result of animal testing, or that I am colour blind, or possibly a result of nuclear radiation building up in the stratosphere before manifesting itself in an oddly coloured localized snowstorm which has become caught in this mutts fur thus giving it an odd green hue, but that is simply insane. Therefore the only reasonable answer must be that the dog is in fact a," he paused savoring the moment of victory, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat he continued spasming as he said each word, "FAIRY GOD PARENT!!!"

His son stared at him,he had always believed that his father was a visionary, a misunderstood genius who was far ahead of his time, but now he saw it, his father really was, absolutely, 100%, round the twist, up the wall, utterly and completely insane.

"Father," he sighed, "that is not a fairy, there are no such things as fairies. Can you not see that it is green, and that there is a four leaf clover on it's collar." This was true, as Cosmo never went anywhere without at least one lucky item, ever since a particularly nasty experience while trying to teach Poof to walk, in which he had been crushed by at least 76 anvils of his own creation and had decided not to risk the same thing happening again.

"What are you saying junior?" Crocker growled furiously.

"What I am saying father," the younger of th two retorted, "is that this is in fact a LEPRAUCHAUN!" he shouted, bouncing off the walls in an insane manner.

Tammy, smiled as the two men began to argue, shouting vehemently at each other until they where both blue in the face and gasping for air. Noticing a large button labeled **Captive release, captives do not press**, she turned to Cosmo, a twinkle in her eye.

"Cosmo, quick, I need you to Poof out of those chains and free us, it's our only chance..." She trailed off, noticing that Cosmo wasn't listening, he was instead staring at the Crockers and seemed to be muttering something along the lines of, "There fighting over me. Yay! I feel so loved and appreciated." Tammy groaned, turning to Rick, who she decided was the more sensible of the pair, "Rick! We need to get out of these chains and over to those controls."

Rick smiled stupidly at her "Why would I want to do that?" he asked "I'd much rather stay here with." Tammy groaned, if she had been there one hundred zillion and one years ago when the rules were first created then she probably would have known that all rules where placed there for a reason, as it is impossible to make someone fall in love with you without a love arrow, the muffin instead simply simulated love by putting Rick into a deep hypnotic trance, in which all he could think about was Tammy, this made both conversation and saving other peoples lives, rather difficult.

Cosmo grinned up at her, "Hey Tammy!" he smiled, "Look! There fighting over me, I feel so happy!" Rick growled, and with a shout of "YOU KEEP AWAY FROM HER, YOU WEIRD TALKING DOG!" he began to struggle with the chains. Tammy smiled as she saw his cuffs begin to loosen, this was exactly what she had been wanting him to do. He eventually broke the (incredibly badly made) chains and landed on the floor, just as both Crockers collapsed from exhaustion and fell into a deep, deep sleep, but instead of running to the Captive release button, he rushed up to Cosmo and began to throttle the poor defenseless fairy. Tammy was just about to do something when a hole was blown in the ceiling, Rick was thrown into the captive release button, and three angry, metal robots, each with "V-Icky" written on the side floated through the roof.

"Attention all Twerps, we are now in charge of the earth. You are now our slaves, come with us or die."

-*-

Poof squealed, Wanda screamed, Hassian gasped in shock and Tommy... well... Tommy fainted. The mass of Vickybots simply stared at them all and laughed, advancing slowly on the three fairies and the godchild. Normally a Vickybot would not even be a match for Poof, but they were up against not one, not two, but every single Vickybot in existence (that's right, they were all in Dimmsdale). Hassian raised his wand to fight them back but, with the regulation farting noise, it wilted as his Sapphfairy was destroyed and the nano fairy inside was eaten. The wall into Tammy's room was blasted to pieces, (much to Wanda's annoyance, as she would probably be the one to clean it up) to reveal a dark figure.

The figure was dressed in a flawless, yet dusty, postal uniform. His face was covered in taught pale skin, with a hooked nose, pointed ears and long, straight, grey hair. His mouth was filled with knife like teeth and his eyes were burning yellow lights, surrounded by dark pits. He carried a postbag over his shoulder, into which he slipped a letter, before retrieving a list of pictures and, oddly, a purple stuffed teddy bear. The Vickybots beeped their warnings at the newcomer, before turning and swooping down at him. The creature grinned, and, with a flick of his wrist, sent them all out of the hole where the window had been and pulling the fairies wands from their hands, before quickly repairing the wall.

"Well well," he grinned, his voice sounded as though he had iron filings in his voice box, "so you're here." He picked the muffin of the floor and deposited it in his bag. Turning to Poof and Tommy, who was slowly waking, he consulted his list. "Tommy Turner. Finally you are my prisoner and my plan is nearly complete. Now, let's see if we can find your sister." He laughed manically, only to pause and turn to the little fairy.

"And Poof, this appears to be yours," he handed over the bear, "cos I certainly didn't wish for a bear."

_Cliffhanger. Cliffhanger! Cliffhanger!!!! The next chapter shall be the beginning of the end. A shame but all good things must come to an end. Please keep reviewing._


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents, never have never will. If you want to find the creator of Fairly Odd Parents, you're in the wrong place. You are looking for Butch Hartman.

Note: Sorry for the wait, Its hard writing and being back at school. Sorry for putting the wrong chapter in (thank you for alerting me Unknown20troper) I'm working on two fics at the same time and must have pressed the wrong button, that chapter was meant to be in my Death's Blessing fic.

**Chapter Eight:**

It didn't take the mailman long to find Tammy, he knew exactly what she looked like and where to find her, the Crocker secret base...ment. Once there it was a simple matter of breaking into the building and kidnapping the 10 year old girl and everyone else he saw, including several Vickybots. It was even easier than he expected, the Crockers were unconscious, the wall had been smashed to pieces and there were even signs pointing to the location of the hideout. He grinned, easily knocking out Cosmo with his Fairy stun weapon, and stuck him in the bag before grabbing his next victim. He had decided to take Tommy's fairies with him, leaving the boy, and a particularly obnoxious, foul mouthed leprechaun, magically chained to the Turner bedroom, unconscious. He smirked as he grabbed Tammy.

"Well Tammy, looks like we have a family reunion in order."

-*-

Tommy awoke from his slumber sometime later to find himself surrounded on all sides by weird people and creatures. There was a creature next to him which was wearing green britches, its mouth constantly filled with curses and profanities directed straight at their blue clad grinning captor, who did not seem to be present. Two people nearby appeared to be having a fit in their chains, Tommy was relieved to see that both of them strongly resembled Mr Bitterroot, so that at least was normal. Several humans and fairies lay strung up in neat little rows, hanging limp like meat on hooks. There was Hassian, Wanda, Poof, that pretty boy Rick Parks and, Tommy cringed, Tammy, where lining the walls of his room. A green fairy was chained up next to Tammy desperately trying to wake her, an incredibly stupid course of action, in Tommy's opinion, as if she were to wake, it would spell an end to his memories of fairy kind. A confusing array of machinery had been heaped together in the middle, presumably made of broken Vickybots, with Sapphfairies placed at random points, each one glowing with magical power. In the middle of this bizarre contraption had been placed both of the magic muffins, surrounded completely by a host of wands, all pointing directly inwards at the twin muffins. Tommy gasped at the contraption, but turned his head to stare in horror as Tammy stirred. He was as bewildered as she was to see his twin sitting in a room full of magical creatures as if it were a normal every day occurrence. Tammy herself did a double take as she saw Tommy, turning her attention to the green haired fairy and muttering hurriedly. Both braced themselves for the barrage of terrified screaming they were sure they were about to here, but it did not come. They stared at each other, even more confused, Wanda rolled her eyes, it wasn't _that_ hard to understand. Their eyes met, and suddenly they understood.

"TOMMY!" Tammy squealed at her brother,

"TAMMY!" Tommy squeaked back.

"YOU HAVE FAIRY GODPARENTS?!?" they finished in unison.

"Finally!" A voice roared from somewhere in the room, the congregation fell silent and watched as a post bag clad creature began to take shape from in the center of the room, laughing maliciously as it began to form, it grinned widely, displaying its pin-like teeth, "I thought you were never going to get it."

Everyone present let out a conjoined gasp as the mailman formed in the middle of the room, holding his prize, a young purple haired fairy, shaking with fear, aloft for all to see. Smirking the creature walked over to an empty set of chains and in no time had managed to chain the fairy securely to the wall. He span round, pressing his sneering face into Tommy's. Tommy recoiled, beginning to sweat and Tammy, felling that she herself would hate to have the mailman's face so close to her own, shouted for him to stop.

"NOOO!" she screeched, the creature turned to her, the same wide grin stretched across his face, "Why are you here? What do you want? Who are you?"

"Sigvald." the pink haired fairy, the one chained up next to Tommy, was the one who had spoken. The creature's smirk broke wider, and it let out a savage laugh.

"Oh really, well, you'd know all about that wouldn't you Wanda. You too Cosmo, after all, you were both there."

Tommy and Tammy both stared at their godparents, then at their twin's godparents, completely dumbfounded. Cosmo stared at his feet, Wanda smiled nervously and Hassian,who had been somewhere between terrified and reassured ever since the name of the mailman had been announced, was now beginning to sweat, trying to decide whether the truth, or the tabloid papers view on this story, would be more damaging to his reputation.

The room went silent. Wanda gulped and, seeing that Cosmo and Hassian weren't going to say anything, began her story.

"You see, me and Cosmo haven't been completely truthful with you two." She paused, finding her words, "About 20 years ago, we were assigned to another miserable boy by the name of Timmy Turner, your father."

"Man was that a handful," Cosmo cut in "you should have seen what he did with his magic muffin. There were monkeys everywhere. And when he wished up a fairy baby. Man was that a handful. And..." Wanda glared at Cosmo, grabbing his lips and stopping his babbling, seeing that she would never restart her story if she didn't. When she let go of his lips, he gulped and continued.

"Well, one day, Timmy got tired of never being up to date with the magic going ons in Fairy World, so he wished for someone to keep him in the know. So, since Wanda wasn't around, I let Poof do it."

"Everything you wish for has to come from somewhere," Wanda explained "and it just so happened that Poof wished up the soul of an angst filled, bitter spirit of a viking called Sigvald. When Sigvald was created, he was just a pair of those headlight eyes and a mailman uniform. He hung around in Fairy World, delivering Timmy information, right up till the time he lost us. He stayed with us for a few years, keeping an eye on Timmy for us, to make sure he was OK. Right up until he got married to nice young human girl, when we decided that he had settled down and that there was no point watching him, so we let Sigvald go."  
Sigvald sneered.

"You left me. I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, you didn't even send me back to Valhalla. I spent awhile in a paying job as a monster under the bed, but that didn't last. I wandered around a house scaring hippies, that sucked. Finally I found something. I found something in my postal bag, a letter sent to one T.T . Turner, covered entirely in Fairy dust, the waste product of Fairy magic. Normally this is useless, and fades off after a few minutes, but paper can hold it right the way up to a century (not many fairies know that) using the excess magic Cosmo and Wanda had given me, I found a way to extract it and use it rebuild my former body, as closely as I could. Then I found out a particularly interesting fact. Did you know that every rule has a reason? No wishing that someone would love you because magic can only produce a deeply unnatural attraction to the person in question. Wishing to win a competition would change the users lifestyle, and eventually personality, completely. And, finally, Magic muffins are not as they seem. You see, they are a weapon, made many years ago for the great Magical conquest, advertised as the only magic capable of destroying the base components of magic itself. When the war was finished they were hidden away, packaged up, and sent of to humans, who could apparently stomach the awful taste and enjoyed using them for stupid and trivial past times. I now have the perfect opportunity, two of the most powerful magic muffins in creation, roughly 50 sapphfairies and a large amount of fairy dust and wands, all gathered together in one place. And watch. I WISH FOR A BETTER TASTING MUFFIN!!!"

The two muffins whirred, expanding as spikes and flashing lights protruded out of the twin cakes, beeping menacingly.

"It's the activation code," Sigvald glowered menacingly, "I'm fire this thing into fairy world. By my calculations it will unstablise Fairy World, sending it crashing directly into Earth. The magical buildup will cause every creature on the planet to become inexplicably invulnerable, and the appearance of the fairies will doubtless start a war! An everlasting war, where no one ever dies. I'm going to succeed where countless others have failed! I'M GOING TO CREATE A VALHALLA ON EARTH!!!"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairly Odd Parents(Butch Hartman does), nor can I use a computer (as my last misplaced chapter testified (that has now been replaced))

**Chapter Nine:**

"How can you do this?" Tommy spluttered, "You were human, you can't destroy, or take over, or whatever you're going to do to the earth, you lived here."

"I'm doing you all a favour," Sigvald roared indignantly, turning to glare at the boy "You and I Turner, and your sister and your father, are from different times. Yours is a time that values fast cars and TVs and ponies and glasses of warm milk, a magical time of joy and happiness were men know nothing and are thrilled to bits about it. I come from a time of war, famine, death and disease, but I at least knew who I killed. My new world will finally let you see the destruction that your people, your fairies, your stupid wishes, have been wreaking for the past one thousand years!"

While Tommy and Sigvald were busy duking it out, Tammy decided to find out what the machine that was taking up half of her room was, turning to Wanda, the pink haired fairy, she posed this question.

"It looks like a satellite dish," Hassian mused, before Wanda could have a chance to open her mouth "I think it's designed to fire the power of those Sapphfairies at one of us and then reflect that beam from one of us to the next, back and forth until the magic's only option is to travel directly into the muffins and fire it directly at Fairy World." Wanda stared at him, "What? I'm not just a pretty face, you know."

Sigvald turned on Hassian, "Correct!" he sneered "you're a smart one fairy." He pressed a few buttons, "And you're dead meat, young Tommy, for that little bit of voicing your own opinion, you're now going to be the first to be fried by this thing." he patted the laser, "have fun in Valhalla."

Poof, seeing the look of horror on his mother's face, began to cry, Sigvald, grinding his pointed teeth ("Stupid baby, never gives me a moments peace") , picked Poof up , cello taped his mouth shut, and stuffed him into a sound proof, fully prepared and extremely convenient cat carrier. Before turning to Tommy and doing the same (minus the cat carrier).

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Wanda shouted, filled with rage by the lanky, pale husk of a body which had once been passed as the soul of a human, "AFTER ALL WE DID FOR YOU!"

"You used me Fairy, used me and tossed me aside just because I didn't stand up to your tiny ideals and views about what a human is. I was just a thing to you, to be used and cast away."  
Wanda gasped, finally seeing why Sigvald was doing this, why he was trying so hard to exploit a desperately unlikely group of events, which in a sensible universe would never have occurred, why his brilliant machine was built almost entirely of bits of scrap and homicidal robots and why he had gone to so much trouble to attempt to rebuild his body.

"You're lonely." she whispered, "And you're scared. You thought of us as a family, and we left you. But Timmy lost his memories, he didn't leave you. He never would have left you. You were like a brother to him."

"Yeah," Cosmo butted in, "Or a cousin, or an uncle, or a distant relative who you've only met once but you instantly like, or their friend who you take a disliking to but secretly have a crush on, or..."  
"SHUT UP!" Sigvald screamed, flecks of black spit flying from his mouth, "I never cared for any of you! You were a burden! I hated you! I would have rather gone crawling to the Wiccan Father Death on a floor of burning hot spikes than spend another miserable day at your beck and call!" His hand slammed down onto the control panel, (which had conveniently appeared during the course of this chapter. yes magic sometimes does that) grinning maliciously at the young boy who was struggling in his bonds.

_Detonation in ten..._

As he watched the mass panic among the crowd of captives, he was struck by how like Timmy Tommy looked, the buck teeth and camp pink shirt. The only thing that made them any different was the fact that Tommy's hair was black and Timmy's was brown, but he wouldn't have to worry about that, in a few seconds it would all be over.

_...minutes_

Make that a few minutes, Sigvald groaned, sitting down on Tammy's bed and tapping his watch indignantly. Come to think of it, he remembered first meeting Timmy many years ago:

(Flash back time)-*-(Flash back time)

Sigvald gasped as he suddenly appeared in the middle of Timmy's room, gulping down air as he became re-accustomed to breathing. He looked down at his hands, only to realise he didn't actually have hands. He screamed.

"Hi," Sigvald looked up to see the speaker, a weedy,buck toothed, pink hatted boy standing in the middle of the room, next to him hovered three equally wimpy looking winged creatures, Sigvald was sure that just a simple axe to the head would kill any one of them. Pathetic. Now if only he had an axe. Sigvald had collected axes as a boy, much like baseball cards, and had had a combined collection of 173 different sizes makes and models, but, like his body, he couldn't seem to find any. He blinked, noticing that the annoying wussy kid was still talking, telling him something about some stupid twenty first century or something. He groaned, huffing angrily as the boy continued,

"And then there are these things called cars. They drive you from one place to another and..." He continued talking as Sigvald checked the bag around his shoulder and found a letter in it addressed to one Timmy Turner. He calmly lent over, grabbed the boy and lifted him off his feet, finally shutting him up.

"Timmy Turner?" he asked, Timmy nodded, and Sigvald placed him back on the floor, before handing him the letter. Timmy simply stared at him, completely gob smacked.

"Wow!" he grinned widely at the Viking, before turning to the winged creatures "where did you get this guy from?"

"Valhalla," Sigvald moaned, "and I'd much rather be there now if you don't mind." He towered over the four, glowering menacingly, this was somewhat ruined by his lack of any form of mouth. Obviously Timmy didn't catch the sentiment, as he immediately started blabbering at Sigvald. Sigvald rolled his eyes and wondered how much longer this would go on.

"You're really strong!" Timmy smiled, maybe trying to be friendly or maybe just completely oblivious to Sigvald's anger. But whatever the reason, Sigvald's resolve softened, and he would have grinned if he were capable of it.

"It's nothing kid, we vikings are just plain tough."  
"Ah man," Timmy groaned, "everyone's really tough except for me. I wish I were a viking."

Sigvald watched as the three winged creatures lifted their sticks, and the adventure began.

-*-

_Detonation in 1 minute 20 seconds..._

As Sigvald stared at the unconscious (due to lack of air from too much screaming) figure of Tommy before him, he was reminded strikingly of his original creator, of his life as a 10 year old viking, a miserable runt, jealous of both his brothers and even his younger sister (who was still a better fighter than him) and his death in a war at 17, to his life as a faceless overseer of a young child, who was both weaker than him and respectful of his abilities and, and his fairies, who had taken him into their own home for a decade after he was no longer needed, and finally, it struck him just what he was. An older brother, in the protecting sense, not the traditional sense.

"No!" he shouted jumping up to block the path between the laser and Tommy, who was to be it's first target. Everyone in the room stared at him, Tammy opening her mouth to question him.

_Detonation in 20 seconds_

"I'm not letting that thing blast you all to Hel (Viking hell)," Sigvald roared, "you may be a group of stupid, pathetic and backwards cowards, but you're the closest thing I've got left to a real family."

_9, 8, 7_

Sigvald began to sweat,

_6, 5, 4_

Sigvald let in a breath.

3

"Hey wait." he said, "I know the code to shut this thing down, if I just move now.

_2_

"I've still got time."

_1, have a nice death._

"I hate this thing."

The laser fired.

Sigvald fell back as the weapon's full force hit him in the chest, the spare magic dust in his system reacting with the muffin's magic and destroying him in a poof of smoke. The machine, unable to complete it's main function, shut down, releasing the chains of the captives (except for the Crocker's who, for some reason, remained chained up).

Tammy dropped to the ground, rushing over to her brother and attempting to revive him.

Cosmo floated down to the cat carrier and unlocked Poof, and Hassian began to get to work handing out anti-lawsuit documents for human and fairy alike to sign. Wanda floated down to the Mailman's cap picking it up and staring sadly at it.

"Poor Sigvald." she mused, "all of this was so misguided. A want to fit in with the ideals and beliefs of a long dead time. But in the end, it could never work, it just wasn't the right time." She watched as the rest of her family gathered around her godchild, they would never fully understand what Sigvald had just done, but she knew. Pocketing the cap and retrieving the young viking's sack, she gazed sadly out of the whole in the window, watching as a glimmering material, Sigvald's residual magical energy, wafted out in the breeze. She bit her lip.

"Our families missing a member."

_The End, almost, epilogue to come._


	10. Chapter 10

Note: Fairly odd parents is not mine, Sigvald, Vato and Hassian are all mine. Amelius Cosma is copyright to Kelsey Jackson/ Keyoma 09 on deviantart.

**Chapter Ten**

Thirty minutes later, at least in conventional time, as Tommy had used the last bite of muffin to stop time for one week (the twins and fairies had spent the time getting to know each other), the house was repaired and the police had arrived, immediately arresting the Crocker family, partly for mass kidnapping and partly for being clearly insane, and had booked the Turner family for disturbing the neighbourhood. Wanda (posing as one of the neighbours) looked up from her purple hand booklet (which was actually her son) out across the garden, watching the scene unfurl around her. The chief of police scratched his head, for Dimmsdale, this was a major crime scene and neither child seemed at all fazed by any of this. The boy, Tommy, was rebounding a green ball off the wall and the girl, Tammy, was waving off her rather bewildered (and now out of the control of magic) boyfriend. The policeman waved off these thoughts, turning to consult his subordinates.

Wanda groaned as she leaned back against the fence, confronting the three, Yellow cloaked Fairy World officials with a boiling rage.

"How could you let that happen?"she screamed, "he was just a boy, a vicious Viking boy, but still a boy! And you let him have ancient weapons of mass destruction, what kind of people are you."

"You really miss him don't you," muttered Hassian.

"Ov courze zhe doez you eediot." The speaker rubbed one hand through his spiky blond hair, which was slightly darker in shade to his lightening bolt goatee, and readjusted his glasses. His name was Vato Volitaire, head of Fairy World internal affairs and Hassian Orion's boss. He smiled sadly and passed her a yellow hankie.

"You just don't understand!" Wanda sniffed into the hankie, "he wasn't just a wish to me and Timmy, sure he could be moody, beastly and sly at times, but he was also more than that, he was endearing, like a son to me." She was unable to continue.

"By the way," Vato muttered to his assistant, the fittingly named Mildly Dull, "Just vhat did happen to Zigvald ... er ... Cozma" he said, coming up with the surname on the spot.

"The fairy dust mixed into his being reacted with Muffin Magic and blew him apart," Mildly replied, "there's about an 80% probability of death, the victim's residual magic should stay in this area for a couple of days, after which they may or may not reform and may or may not be dead, It's really hard to tell."

Hassian walked back over to Wanda, putting one arm around her to calm her down.

"You know," he began, "I used to know your husband's father. We were good friends him and I, you'd never think it looking at Cosmo but his dad was really something, a genius among fairies. We were part of an organization, the ARCH, heh, only had four members, more like a high school group. He was always there, always willing to help, until the incident." He paused, as if reconsidering whether he should have started this conversation, "He was like a brother to me."

The three Yellow cloaked men threw their hoods back over their faces, vanishing from human eyes as they walked through the emptying street, Hassian stopped, took one last look at Cosmo and Wanda, and the three officials disappeared into mid air.

Wanda saw that the police weren't looking at her anymore, poofing into a humming bird, she flitted through the trees, watching as a car approached.

-*-

Timmy Turner smiled to himself, another day, another boring board meeting, he wouldn't have had it any other way. Sure he loved his wife, he loved his kids, but she was out of town and they were save at home with the Vickybot.

Turning on the radio, he tuned into the most boring station he could find, just what his dad would've done. His father was his inspiration, he had taught him everything he had ever known.

"And in other news", a voice said from the radio, "there have been more developments in the kidnapping case on our very own turf, Dimmsdale USA, the hostages were held in the house of one Timmy Tur..."

"Boring!" Timmy said, changing channel before the end of the news, just like a Turner would! Pop music, the stuff he had listened to as a kid, Britteny Britteny and Chip Skylark. He sang to himself as he swung round the corner, his face drooping as he saw the scene.

"Egad!" He exclaimed, and would have fallen to his knees in horror if he had not been in a car, police cars completely surrounded the house, two men were being led away. His wife was going to kill him!

-*-

Two whole weeks had passed. Far from Dimmsdale, far from Brightsburg, far away from even Fairy World was the great great country of Canada. A hat was floating in the breeze, as was a jacket, as were a pair of shoes. They whipped into position, as if held by invisible strings. A sack fell from the sky, landing on the shoulder of the jacket, the wind whistled, sounding, eerily like a severely wounded Viking having a coughing fit. The sound increased, and a pair of headlamp eyes blinked into life. A long journey had begun, a journey back to Dimmsdale.

**The End**

(for real this time)


End file.
